[The evening of the 26th, a platter of cupcakes is delivered to Josephine's room. It is left with a knock, and when she opens the door, no one will be there.
The cupcakes are beautiful confections, easily as big as her fist, and piled high with buttercream frosting. But they're filled with nothing good. One is most certainly filled with blood. Another with maggots, a third with worms, and a fourth with beetles. Best not look in the fifth, that has teeth in it.
There is a note attached, too, because our sender is kind.]
CHOKE AND DIE ON THESE YOU CAN'T HAVE HER SHE'S MINE
[ Late afternoon on the thirteenth, a package is on your desk. It's wrapped in pretty gold paper and is the size of a small bracelet box. Inside is a very special trinket – a woven bracelet of shiny, iridescent horse hair. Finding out that the hair is unicorn hair is possible with a bit of research. Should you wear the bracelet, minor to moderate injuries will heal faster. This is limited to physical damage and not magical or those caused by substances like poison.
There are footsteps in the hall and if you're quick, you might notice Abigail turning a corner. If you look she will be gone, but could she have left the package….? ]
( so, this is the invitation for housewarming party for thranduil’s new flat. the invite itself will appear on the tenth, and i should have a mingling log up on the thirteenth or so. i wanted to seriously forward date this stuff. feel free to bother him with questions about the event. i just wanted to make a pretty invite so bad. )
To: Josephine Montilyet and Guest From: Dorian Pavus
[ Josephine will find a letter written on plain parchment. The handwriting is recognizable, but not quite the neat and orderly handwriting Cullen usually has. The words look shaken, lacking pressure in the ink when the pen had hit the surface. ]
Josephine,
This is urgent. I need you to come to my quarters right away. I will explain then.
[She's at his door not long after she received his letter, urgency spurring her on to take a shawl and hurry her feet to his room. When she finally arrives, she knocks to announce her arrival before cracking open the door.]
Cullen? It's Josephine. I got your letter...
[Nervousness tinges the very edges of her voice. Whatever it is, she is there, but she can't help but worry about what is wrong.]
[ He's not certain if putting this upon her is appropriate, though he's sure that if there are constants in her timeline? There is a possibility he had quit lyrium from her perspective as well. The Advisors had known about it, he had warned those who mattered about his decision. But it was Cassandra that he had asked to keep watch on him, and she isn't here. ]
[ When Gloria had told him about a "package", it didn't take much to realize what it likely was. He had gone in a fit of rage in front of her, implied the decision he had made, and she knew enough to realize what it was that he had been deprived of. Knowing just the mere fact of Templars taking lyrium is enough. ]
[ But he had sincerely hoped he was wrong. He hoped so much that the package had been merely something to ward off the pain or help him sleep, something to take down his anxiety. But now. It was lyrium, or at least a very close alternative that functioned the same way. That's what the instructions said, and the tools to take it were just the same. Gloria placed a starving man in front of an endless banquet, but his hands are chained and his mouth is sewn shut. He can't-- He can't. ]
[ Cullen's first desperate action was to reach out to Josephine. She's the only one he can turn to here. Far be it for him to put anything upon Inquisitors he barely knows. Josephine is the only solid familiarity he has here, and he has no choice. No control. If he doesn't get someone else's input, or get someone to stop him, he will take it. His ties with the past that has plagued him will remain, and he will no longer be a man of his word. ]
[ When Josephine opens the door, she'll find Cullen standing in front of his dining table, hand at his mouth and staring at a box placed neatly in the center. It's closed, ribbon still on it but laying untied. His eyes look to her, and he gestures for her to come in. ]
Josephine.
[ He addresses and greets her only by name, the hand at his mouth slowly dragging down before his arm drops entirely. ]
I...
I trust you are aware of my previous decision back in Thedas. You do recall the favor I had asked of Cassandra, yes?
[It's strange to see him like this, such a marked difference from the last time she came to his room. It had been childish pranks then, yes, ending with her heart in her through, but oh how she preferred that than to this. Than to this heavy tension in the room.
She closes the door quietly behind her as she nods. Some part of her guesses what he might ask her, and another hopes it hasn't come to this.] I do. [His deteriorating mood and health had been too obvious to ignore - at least to the keen eyes of her and Leliana. When he finally enlightened them, it had been like a weight lifted, only to be replaced immediately by another.
Much like this now. Her words are as delicate and gentle as her steps towards him.] Are you... feeling it again?
[ Cullen doesn't answer her, not right away. His hands do, taking to his face and covering them a moment as he turns away from the table, walking a distance from it. He sighs when he drops them, the signs of aching and exhaustion ever present on his features. ]
It's been months now. I could tell you right down to the second the last time I'd taken it.
[ Such is the desperation of an addict. But he doesn't go as far as telling her exactly how long it's been. ]
These... Thoughts. They only seem to get louder, stronger by the day and I see no light at the end of the tunnel.
My head, my body--
[ Cullen's voice raises, and he looks to Josephine, anger and disappointment... Worry clear in his gaze. ]
Everything hurts, Josephine. How am I to be useful to the Inquisition, never mind my usefulness here when danger could so easily be around the corner?
[ He pauses a moment, head lowered as he reaches up again to rub at his tired and aching eyes. ]
Cassandra isn't here to ground me. Far be it for me to reach out to two Inquisitors who I barely know. You're a sensible woman, smart and...
I trust you.
[ With a groan, Cullen points to the box containing a lyrium substitute. on the table, still shut. ]
[Josephine always had a tender, bleeding, heart for her friends but seeing and hearing Cullen's torment makes hers fracture in painful, ragged edges, each word making it crack further. She holds her breath, opening her mouth at times to answer his worries and questions but keeping quiet as he continues on.
And when he points to the box, she thinks her pulse slows. Her blood freezes in her veins.
Gloria couldn't have. She doesn't have much affection for their captors but she's spent months in Gloria's wing. She liked Gloria the best - as much as anyone could like any of the witches. But she knows that the witch is more than capable of such a terrible feat.
Josephine's fingers clutch the box and lift the top of the box, staring hard at the substitute inside.] ...Think not of this, Cullen. [She slams the top down with a resounding thud, her gaze lifting up to meet Cullen's, eyes determined.] I'm not Cassandra. Perhaps I cannot inspire armies the way she can and be the imposing rock that she always is. But believe me when I say you can do this. You can ignore these voices. You can overcome this. You are better than this. Stronger than this. I know this about, Cullen. There is no doubt in my mind that you will be free of this one day, and one day soon. I promise. And I will help you anytime, any way I can.
This? [She pulls the box from the table and into the hard grip of her hands.] This belongs in my fireplace, not in your body. And I will do this every time Gloria [She practically spits the name.] thinks to test your strength.
[ Cullen watches as she takes the box in her arms, and there's a part of him that so badly wishes to beg that she wouldn't take it. The idea of what little lyrium he has left going to the flames, burning and disappearing in thin air, makes his thirst even more powerful. His gut wrenches and his heart sinks. But it's Josephine's words that keep him from reducing to begging like a child. ]
[ Testing his strength... Yes, that is precisely what Gloria had been doing. This is just another way to maintain control, to keep tabs on him as best as the Chantry had, if not better. ]
[ Cullen sighs again, looking away as if that will help remove the visual of his resource of relief being burned like useless garbage. ]
You're right.
[ His hands clench into fists as he turns away, Cullen tries to breathe to maintain his composure. ]
I am better than this. I am stronger. I can dedicate myself to bettering my life just as much as I had to the Chantry and my vows.
[ With another heavy, long exhale, his hands loosen, and he turns to Josephine. ]
Thank you... I--
I would wish I could do this on my own but... It's proven to be much harder than I had anticipated.
[She longs to embrace him, give solace in a friendly hug to ease the despair though they were never quite that affectionate back home. But the box in her hands makes her hold her ground, not wanting it anywhere near him lest he wrench it from her hands. Instead she gives him a warm smile from across the room, pleased to see the tension ease from his hands, and hopes she will see him more relaxed in the future.]
There is no shame in this, Cullen. Calling for reinforcements when needed in the heat of battle is the proper strategy, is it not? [Her smile lifts with a slightly playful lilt. See? She listened during those war table arguments.] I am here for you, Cullen, whenever you need it. You being free of this yoke is one of my highest priorities.
[ Their relationship has been mainly professional, at least from Cullen's perspective. But he would be a liar if he didn't admit that they had developed some sort of closeness from the many hours they had spent together over candlelit debates on a full war table. Endless evenings of discussing plans and preparations to maintain the delicate balance of the world. It was the way of the Inquisition, and Cullen wouldn't have had it any other way. Even if their arguments had gotten rather heated many, many times. ]
[ They may not have much in common other than the Inquisition and their desires to better the world. But Cullen respects Josephine and cares for her deeply, just as he does his recruits and other advisors. ]
[ He manages a smile at her mentions of tactics on the battlefield, even letting out a soft laugh to it. ]
So you've learned.
[ She's right, though. This is merely calling for reinforcements, which is something he has done many times in his career. Cullen has plenty of pride, but not in the sense of asking for help on the battlefield. Calling for help with his health should be no different. ]
[ Cullen pauses a moment, looking to the floor. There's still embarrassment and shame there, though it slowly melts away. ]
You should know how much this means to me. I'm... Admittedly not at my best right now. I bear no pride in saying such a thing, but it is important you know.
[Josephine's smile fades only a touch as he looks away, and she spares his pride further embarrassment as she does the same. her steps are quiet as she goes to the door. Not that she wanted to run from him, far from it, but with the lyrium in her hands she was doing him no favors lingering.]
Please, Cullen, think nothing of it. You have nothing to repay. You are a dear friend to me and I don't doubt you would offer me any help that I needed. [She gives him another smile as opens the door.] I shall check up on you soon. [She remembers how he was back in Skyhold and vows to keep her promise before she heads out the door and heads straight toward the nearest fireplace.]
[ There is a knock on Josephine's door in the early afternoon. When Josephine opens the door, she will find a maid standing before her. She carries a basket with a delicate cloth over it, and an ornate card neatly placed on top. Under this cloth is a gathering of various pastries. ]
[ With a smile and a curtsey, the maid speaks. ]
The Commander has sent me to bring you this, and a message. He sends his apologies for the delayed holiday gift, and also extends his additional thanks for your care and attention.
[ The maid then hands her the basket and wishes her a good afternoon. ]
[ When she opens the card, she will find this written inside:
Josephine,
Words cannot express the gratitude I hold for your efforts. Despite our current position right now, I find fortune in knowing you are here as well. Should you ever need anything, you know where to find me.
[Another maid shows up the next day at Cullen's door, giving a smile and a curtsey as well.] The Ambassador [if he was going to go by his title, she could return the favor] wishes to convey her gratitude. [Then she hands him a letter and is off to do the rest of her chores. It reads:]
Cullen,
Thank you once more for the delicious food, though it was hardly necessary. You know there's is little I wouldn't do for you. All you should ever need is to call upon me and I shall come.
[ Josephine gets a return gift that's slipped into her room before she returns. Inside are a pair of earrings, some chocolates, and herbs for tea. There is also a note: Thank you for the gifts. I appreciate your kindness, Lady Montilyet, and hope to see you soon. ]
[The little assortment of pastries that had been placed outside of his room were mostly a mystery. The card said who they were from, but not who they were intended for. Fenris had only been in the manor for a few days and the name on the card, which he'd had to ask a maid to read for him, wasn't familiar. He'd come to the perfectly reasonable assumption that they'd been intended for the rooms previous occupant, so he'd sought the woman, Josephine, out to not only return the gift, but deliver the bad news.
Figuring out her name and the room she was in hadn't taken long once he'd found a maid, and it was only the afternoon of the following day when he stopped by, lightly knocking on her door, basket of goodies in hand.]
[She's still contemplating when and how to begin moving her belongings when she hears the knock. Opening the door, she's greeted with the sight of a stranger, though one she has heard enough about. She gives him a warm smile.]
Yes? [She looks down and sees the basket in his hands.] Ah! The present has found its way to you, I see.
Found it's way... to me? I- [He looks down at the basket he's holding, once again confused.]
It was at my door. Are you sure you intended to send it to me. I thought- [He frowns slightly, eyes on the basket and it's contents.] It isn't for the room's previous owner?
Of course? [She pulled back a moment, her smile faltering slightly. Had she not been clear? She had delivered it to the room the maids said he resided in.]
I don't believe I know who had your room before. Or if I did, I never knew they lived there. You are Fenris, are you not? I'm Josephine Montilyet. [She gave him little bow of her head.] We haven't met but I had heard you might have hailed from Thedas, as I and several others do. It's a bit late for a Satinalia present, but this is this world's gift giving season and it only felt appropriate. Or do you not like desserts from Antiva? [She sound incredulous at the idea. There was no one live who didn't love Antivan desserts.]
[He looked down at the basket in his hand, feeling a little less foolish while staring at it rather than her. He glances back up when she mentions his name, wondering if she too knew all about him thanks to some book Varric apparently writes at some point. If she has heard of him, she does a good job of playing it off.]
Yes... that is my name. And I am from Thedas. I just didn't expect... [He motions vaguely at the basket with his free hand.
He once again looks up, giving her a subtle, crooked smirk and soft chuckle.] Even if I hated them, it wouldn't do to admit such a thing to an Antivan. Especially not one as thoughtful as yourself.
I am. You have good hearing as well as a sharp mind.
[The smile returns, confident now that everything is more clear and that he knows better than to insult her meager Antivan cooking. He's back in her good graces.]
I was remiss in not leaving a more thorough note. I apologize for that. I should have realized receiving gifts from strangers would be odd but I had hoped it would make your coming here a little less, ah... less of a hardship. [Less terrible, really, but that was close enough.]
Hm, yes, I'd heard Antivan desserts were a good cure for slavery. [He cringes slightly at his bitter statement. She was trying, and she certainly didn't deserve his misplaced anger at the situation they both found themselves in.] I'm sorry... I suppose, I'm not quite settling in as well as I'd have hoped.
I- the gift is appreciated. So, thank you. [He bows his head slightly in gratitude and apology.]
[Josephine doesn't cringe - too practiced at hiding her thoughts in court - but her smile does thin a little]. It is quite all right. I don't believe there is a proper timeline for settling in. You should take your time, as you need.
[They're platitudes, she knows, but that's all she can offer him.] You're quite welcome, but I wish I could do more. Is there? Anything I can help you with.
[Even if she had cringed, Fenris would've missed it, his focus on anything but her, head bowed in apology, his eyes on the ground.] Still... there's no advantage to be gained from driving people away. [Which was unfortunate, because that was a skill he had.
He glances back up, poorly masked surprise in his eyes at her offer.] Not that I can think of, no.
Well. Maybe. Out of curiosity, how long have you been here?
[How long was something a touch trickier to explain.] Well, in truth, I seem to have just returned. It felt like I was gone for many years but apparently that time hadn't passed in the same way. So I've been in this place for... almost a year now?
A year? [He nods slowly, slipping into an unfocused, contemplative frown.]
I find this place... very confusing. Perhaps you can clarify a few things? I think you may have had the longest stay out of anyone I've asked.
[His frown deepens a little more as he tries to figure out how to phrase the main problem he's having.] We are... slaves. In a way. I understand they're harvesting the energy we produce. From sex. And they've provided rooms and feed us, but do not pay us, and we're not free to go home. So, in that way, we're very much like their property.
But aside from that requirement... we're free to come and go as we please? To move out? Work? I assume they do not give us an allowance of any kind. What happens if we commit a crime? All of that is very new. And not very slave-like.
[She nods. When he says it like, it seems like so long but in truth time had flown by. Far more easily than she had imagined.]
I can answer any of your questions to the best of my ability.
[He speaks and she tries to follow, nodding at times to urge him to speak.] It is a very unusual circumstance but I believe - and perhaps I'm mistaken as I'm not versed with magic - that the energy that we exude is, in their opinion, worth it all? Perhaps their hold on us has such a reach that no matter where we are here we are still useful to them. And as long as we live and breathe and... [And have sex, but she says that instead with flourish of a hand.] then it hardly matters what we do with ourselves.
As for a committing crimes [Her knows wrinkles - shows what she thinks of that.] we are still at the mercy of the city's laws, but more than that, it might result in physical harm or death, which would stop our usefulness as their source of energy. So they would dissuade us from such things.
[He crosses his arms over his chest, but slightly slouching like he was, it almost looked more like he was holding himself. Obviously, no one would enjoy being in a position like this and they were all in the same boat.]
And they obviously have some way of enforcing this. I've heard the longer you postpone the more -[he looks a little uncomfortable having this conversation with her now, since she herself was avoiding any cruder language; he clears his throat]- desperate you become.
And then there are these -I'm not sure what to call them. 'Pranks' seems much too innocent a word.- Magical traps? Curses?
[He looks deeply thoughtful for a moment before nodding. That was the golden rule to survival as a slave - never stop being useful. The moment you did, you were as good as dead.]
[She appreciates the attempt at subtlety, even if they're both making it more awkward than necessary. She gives him a smile for the effort, though.] It can be, or so I've heard. I've never prolonged it so far. The very atmosphere here can be, ah, quite convincing. [She resists the urge to adjust her collar, for fear of bringing light to the warmth on her face.]
These pranks, that is somewhat new. [After the first day - that first disastrous day - of the pranking she hasn't felt the need for it and she found herself looking down disdainfully at the practice. What this seeks to serve? I have yet to guess. The whims of these witches sometimes are beyond my understanding. Though I suppose I shouldn't think to understand the minds of kidnappers, their thoughts diverging so completely from what I would ever do.
[She refrains from shrugging, as if that would make things too casual and dismiss them completely.] We simply make do with what we have.
[His eyebrows hitch up at her admission, surprised by how candid she is about it while she'd purposely been avoiding outright talking about sex. The contrast makes him chuckle quietly.] By atmosphere, you mean the curses? The food at the last party was all laced with magic, and I think I could venture a guess as to what the curses would encourage. Not to mention the mistletoe.
And you... you aren't bitter? I can't help but feeling as though our options are either to find a partner we don't truly want to bed, or at least not immediately, or be drugged or cursed into doing it.
[His frown deepens at her advice. None of it is alright, and yet obeying is better than death. It was a sentiment he'd used to understand very well. His expression shifts to something blankly resigned.] Both options seem equally horrible.
[She nods, glad to be spared the crude language. There are times to use it. First meetings are not among them.] There are parties like that. In fact all of their parties are such, some simply more than others. [They aren't bad, per se, but no being drugged with anything, especially magic, wasn't quite nice.]
I... [She gives him a lopsided look, lips thinning as they press together but neither scowling or smiling. She clearly doesn't know how to explain that she isn't much bitter about things in general.] I do wish I could go home and stay there but one can't simply spend their time being angry and wishing. At some point we can only make do. The enjoyment of, ah, the lovers you choose here can be what you make of it, to some extent. Some with certain... specialized desires... [She coughs delicately.] might have more trouble than others but companions can be found and pleasant ways to spend the time are possible.
[Fenris' expression is a mix of awe and respect and envy at the attitude that seems to come so easily for her. He tended to dwell on things, stewing and brooding, for far longer than those things deserved, but he'd always been that way. Still, it didn't mean he wasn't trying to change that about himself, not blind to his own shortcomings.]
I suppose, making the best of things is all we really have left to do. [His stubborn side disagreed. 'Making the best of things' sounded a lot like giving in and doing what they were told.
There were easier things to think about though.] Specialized desires? [He chuckled quietly.] And do you have any of those?
[She can guess what he's thinking, bets that it feels like giving in, and she gives him a look of sympathy in turn.
Before she can say anything, he turns the questions back on her. Her first instinct is to sputter a little and turn red.]
No. [She looks away, wondering for all the world if the ground could swallow her whole.]
I meant... That is... Other people, I mean. [Her own preferences and leanings were not nearly as scandalous as some but this reaction isn't helping her case.]
Ah, yes, other people. Of course. [His tone is completely serious and borderline apologetic, but the glint in his eyes and the slight curl at the corner of his mouth sends a different message.
They all had quirks, whether they indulged them or not.
He clears his throat and shifts the basket of goodies to his other hand.] Anyway, now that I know this was actually intended for me, thank you... I probably shouldn't take up more of your time, but it's a pleasure to meet you, Joesphine. [He gives her another half bow, a slight incline of his head.]
[A neatly wrapped package is delivered by Delanna, his half cat/owl who has a lot to learn about bringing gifts to people in tact. The package has evidence of claw-marks and beak marks. The content inside are intact though. Enclosed is a blue jacket with a soft scarf to match. There is no note, merely a card with his signature on it.]
[The next day a gift arrives, this time expressly addressed to: The most esteemed creature residing with Ezio Auditore and it's a small basket of little treats she bought in the other city for the little cat/owl.]
[ a box arrives in the evening of the 31st;green wrapped and tied with a silver bow. inside josephine will find a flask of high quality miruvor, better than what neria sells in her shop. the bottle itself is a work of art, hand-blown and flecked with silver.
the note reads: for the joy of the new year. sincerely, thranduil. ]
[Close to the end of the holiday season a small parcel is left outside Josephine’s door, wrapped up tightly in a deep blue cloth, with a knot that holds quite well. Inside there are few things, a few small hearth cakes, recently baked and tied up in another small parcel of white cotton. And also a pair of warm gloves along with a stack of fresh parchment, a new bottle of dark navy, nearly black ink along with a new quill. As well as a small slip of paper, with Eli’s neatest handwriting on it, Many blessings, Eliana]
[In the midst of all her moving, Josie tries to find time to personally thank Eli for the lovely gifts. And should she not have a moment to snag the younger woman into a tight hug, it can be noticed that Josephine is seen wearing the gloves often.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a gift
The cupcakes are beautiful confections, easily as big as her fist, and piled high with buttercream frosting. But they're filled with nothing good. One is most certainly filled with blood. Another with maggots, a third with worms, and a fourth with beetles. Best not look in the fifth, that has teeth in it.
There is a note attached, too, because our sender is kind.]
CHOKE AND DIE ON THESE YOU CAN'T HAVE HER SHE'S MINE
no subject
8/30 Package Delivery
There are footsteps in the hall and if you're quick, you might notice Abigail turning a corner. If you look she will be gone, but could she have left the package….? ]
no subject
( so, this is the invitation for housewarming party for thranduil’s new flat. the invite itself will appear on the tenth, and i should have a mingling log up on the thirteenth or so. i wanted to seriously forward date this stuff. feel free to bother him with questions about the event.
i just wanted to make a pretty invite so bad. )To: Josephine Montilyet and Guest From: Dorian Pavus
12/22 written letter;
This is urgent. I need you to come to my quarters right away. I will explain then.
Please.
- Cullen
action
Cullen? It's Josephine. I got your letter...
[Nervousness tinges the very edges of her voice. Whatever it is, she is there, but she can't help but worry about what is wrong.]
action;
[ When Gloria had told him about a "package", it didn't take much to realize what it likely was. He had gone in a fit of rage in front of her, implied the decision he had made, and she knew enough to realize what it was that he had been deprived of. Knowing just the mere fact of Templars taking lyrium is enough. ]
[ But he had sincerely hoped he was wrong. He hoped so much that the package had been merely something to ward off the pain or help him sleep, something to take down his anxiety. But now. It was lyrium, or at least a very close alternative that functioned the same way. That's what the instructions said, and the tools to take it were just the same. Gloria placed a starving man in front of an endless banquet, but his hands are chained and his mouth is sewn shut. He can't-- He can't. ]
[ Cullen's first desperate action was to reach out to Josephine. She's the only one he can turn to here. Far be it for him to put anything upon Inquisitors he barely knows. Josephine is the only solid familiarity he has here, and he has no choice. No control. If he doesn't get someone else's input, or get someone to stop him, he will take it. His ties with the past that has plagued him will remain, and he will no longer be a man of his word. ]
[ When Josephine opens the door, she'll find Cullen standing in front of his dining table, hand at his mouth and staring at a box placed neatly in the center. It's closed, ribbon still on it but laying untied. His eyes look to her, and he gestures for her to come in. ]
Josephine.
[ He addresses and greets her only by name, the hand at his mouth slowly dragging down before his arm drops entirely. ]
I...
I trust you are aware of my previous decision back in Thedas. You do recall the favor I had asked of Cassandra, yes?
action;
She closes the door quietly behind her as she nods. Some part of her guesses what he might ask her, and another hopes it hasn't come to this.] I do. [His deteriorating mood and health had been too obvious to ignore - at least to the keen eyes of her and Leliana. When he finally enlightened them, it had been like a weight lifted, only to be replaced immediately by another.
Much like this now. Her words are as delicate and gentle as her steps towards him.] Are you... feeling it again?
action;
It's been months now. I could tell you right down to the second the last time I'd taken it.
[ Such is the desperation of an addict. But he doesn't go as far as telling her exactly how long it's been. ]
These... Thoughts. They only seem to get louder, stronger by the day and I see no light at the end of the tunnel.
My head, my body--
[ Cullen's voice raises, and he looks to Josephine, anger and disappointment... Worry clear in his gaze. ]
Everything hurts, Josephine. How am I to be useful to the Inquisition, never mind my usefulness here when danger could so easily be around the corner?
[ He pauses a moment, head lowered as he reaches up again to rub at his tired and aching eyes. ]
Cassandra isn't here to ground me. Far be it for me to reach out to two Inquisitors who I barely know. You're a sensible woman, smart and...
I trust you.
[ With a groan, Cullen points to the box containing a lyrium substitute. on the table, still shut. ]
Look.
A... Gift from Gloria.
action;
And when he points to the box, she thinks her pulse slows. Her blood freezes in her veins.
Gloria couldn't have. She doesn't have much affection for their captors but she's spent months in Gloria's wing. She liked Gloria the best - as much as anyone could like any of the witches. But she knows that the witch is more than capable of such a terrible feat.
Josephine's fingers clutch the box and lift the top of the box, staring hard at the substitute inside.] ...Think not of this, Cullen. [She slams the top down with a resounding thud, her gaze lifting up to meet Cullen's, eyes determined.] I'm not Cassandra. Perhaps I cannot inspire armies the way she can and be the imposing rock that she always is. But believe me when I say you can do this. You can ignore these voices. You can overcome this. You are better than this. Stronger than this. I know this about, Cullen. There is no doubt in my mind that you will be free of this one day, and one day soon. I promise. And I will help you anytime, any way I can.
This? [She pulls the box from the table and into the hard grip of her hands.] This belongs in my fireplace, not in your body. And I will do this every time Gloria [She practically spits the name.] thinks to test your strength.
action;
[ Testing his strength... Yes, that is precisely what Gloria had been doing. This is just another way to maintain control, to keep tabs on him as best as the Chantry had, if not better. ]
[ Cullen sighs again, looking away as if that will help remove the visual of his resource of relief being burned like useless garbage. ]
You're right.
[ His hands clench into fists as he turns away, Cullen tries to breathe to maintain his composure. ]
I am better than this. I am stronger. I can dedicate myself to bettering my life just as much as I had to the Chantry and my vows.
[ With another heavy, long exhale, his hands loosen, and he turns to Josephine. ]
Thank you... I--
I would wish I could do this on my own but... It's proven to be much harder than I had anticipated.
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There is no shame in this, Cullen. Calling for reinforcements when needed in the heat of battle is the proper strategy, is it not? [Her smile lifts with a slightly playful lilt. See? She listened during those war table arguments.] I am here for you, Cullen, whenever you need it. You being free of this yoke is one of my highest priorities.
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[ They may not have much in common other than the Inquisition and their desires to better the world. But Cullen respects Josephine and cares for her deeply, just as he does his recruits and other advisors. ]
[ He manages a smile at her mentions of tactics on the battlefield, even letting out a soft laugh to it. ]
So you've learned.
[ She's right, though. This is merely calling for reinforcements, which is something he has done many times in his career. Cullen has plenty of pride, but not in the sense of asking for help on the battlefield. Calling for help with his health should be no different. ]
[ Cullen pauses a moment, looking to the floor. There's still embarrassment and shame there, though it slowly melts away. ]
You should know how much this means to me. I'm... Admittedly not at my best right now. I bear no pride in saying such a thing, but it is important you know.
I will make this up to you, I promise.
action;
Please, Cullen, think nothing of it. You have nothing to repay. You are a dear friend to me and I don't doubt you would offer me any help that I needed. [She gives him another smile as opens the door.] I shall check up on you soon. [She remembers how he was back in Skyhold and vows to keep her promise before she heads out the door and heads straight toward the nearest fireplace.]
Sent after the event / Beginning of January
[ With a smile and a curtsey, the maid speaks. ]
The Commander has sent me to bring you this, and a message. He sends his apologies for the delayed holiday gift, and also extends his additional thanks for your care and attention.
[ The maid then hands her the basket and wishes her a good afternoon. ]
[ When she opens the card, she will find this written inside:
Words cannot express the gratitude I hold for your efforts. Despite our current position right now, I find fortune in knowing you are here as well. Should you ever need anything, you know where to find me.
Your friend,
Cullen
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Cullen,
Thank you once more for the delicious food, though it was hardly necessary. You know there's is little I wouldn't do for you. All you should ever need is to call upon me and I shall come.
Ever your friend,
Josephine
gifts!
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Figuring out her name and the room she was in hadn't taken long once he'd found a maid, and it was only the afternoon of the following day when he stopped by, lightly knocking on her door, basket of goodies in hand.]
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Yes? [She looks down and sees the basket in his hands.] Ah! The present has found its way to you, I see.
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It was at my door. Are you sure you intended to send it to me. I thought- [He frowns slightly, eyes on the basket and it's contents.] It isn't for the room's previous owner?
I'm sure I don't know any 'Josephine'.
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I don't believe I know who had your room before. Or if I did, I never knew they lived there. You are Fenris, are you not? I'm Josephine Montilyet. [She gave him little bow of her head.] We haven't met but I had heard you might have hailed from Thedas, as I and several others do. It's a bit late for a Satinalia present, but this is this world's gift giving season and it only felt appropriate. Or do you not like desserts from Antiva? [She sound incredulous at the idea. There was no one live who didn't love Antivan desserts.]
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Yes... that is my name. And I am from Thedas. I just didn't expect... [He motions vaguely at the basket with his free hand.
He once again looks up, giving her a subtle, crooked smirk and soft chuckle.] Even if I hated them, it wouldn't do to admit such a thing to an Antivan. Especially not one as thoughtful as yourself.
... Unless I've misplaced your accent?
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[The smile returns, confident now that everything is more clear and that he knows better than to insult her meager Antivan cooking. He's back in her good graces.]
I was remiss in not leaving a more thorough note. I apologize for that. I should have realized receiving gifts from strangers would be odd but I had hoped it would make your coming here a little less, ah... less of a hardship. [Less terrible, really, but that was close enough.]
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I- the gift is appreciated. So, thank you. [He bows his head slightly in gratitude and apology.]
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[They're platitudes, she knows, but that's all she can offer him.] You're quite welcome, but I wish I could do more. Is there? Anything I can help you with.
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He glances back up, poorly masked surprise in his eyes at her offer.] Not that I can think of, no.
Well. Maybe. Out of curiosity, how long have you been here?
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I find this place... very confusing. Perhaps you can clarify a few things? I think you may have had the longest stay out of anyone I've asked.
[His frown deepens a little more as he tries to figure out how to phrase the main problem he's having.] We are... slaves. In a way. I understand they're harvesting the energy we produce. From sex. And they've provided rooms and feed us, but do not pay us, and we're not free to go home. So, in that way, we're very much like their property.
But aside from that requirement... we're free to come and go as we please? To move out? Work? I assume they do not give us an allowance of any kind. What happens if we commit a crime? All of that is very new. And not very slave-like.
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I can answer any of your questions to the best of my ability.
[He speaks and she tries to follow, nodding at times to urge him to speak.] It is a very unusual circumstance but I believe - and perhaps I'm mistaken as I'm not versed with magic - that the energy that we exude is, in their opinion, worth it all? Perhaps their hold on us has such a reach that no matter where we are here we are still useful to them. And as long as we live and breathe and... [And have sex, but she says that instead with flourish of a hand.] then it hardly matters what we do with ourselves.
As for a committing crimes [Her knows wrinkles - shows what she thinks of that.] we are still at the mercy of the city's laws, but more than that, it might result in physical harm or death, which would stop our usefulness as their source of energy. So they would dissuade us from such things.
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And they obviously have some way of enforcing this. I've heard the longer you postpone the more -[he looks a little uncomfortable having this conversation with her now, since she herself was avoiding any cruder language; he clears his throat]- desperate you become.
And then there are these -I'm not sure what to call them. 'Pranks' seems much too innocent a word.- Magical traps? Curses?
[He looks deeply thoughtful for a moment before nodding. That was the golden rule to survival as a slave - never stop being useful. The moment you did, you were as good as dead.]
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These pranks, that is somewhat new. [After the first day - that first disastrous day - of the pranking she hasn't felt the need for it and she found herself looking down disdainfully at the practice. What this seeks to serve? I have yet to guess. The whims of these witches sometimes are beyond my understanding. Though I suppose I shouldn't think to understand the minds of kidnappers, their thoughts diverging so completely from what I would ever do.
[She refrains from shrugging, as if that would make things too casual and dismiss them completely.] We simply make do with what we have.
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And you... you aren't bitter? I can't help but feeling as though our options are either to find a partner we don't truly want to bed, or at least not immediately, or be drugged or cursed into doing it.
[His frown deepens at her advice. None of it is alright, and yet obeying is better than death. It was a sentiment he'd used to understand very well. His expression shifts to something blankly resigned.] Both options seem equally horrible.
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I... [She gives him a lopsided look, lips thinning as they press together but neither scowling or smiling. She clearly doesn't know how to explain that she isn't much bitter about things in general.] I do wish I could go home and stay there but one can't simply spend their time being angry and wishing. At some point we can only make do. The enjoyment of, ah, the lovers you choose here can be what you make of it, to some extent. Some with certain... specialized desires... [She coughs delicately.] might have more trouble than others but companions can be found and pleasant ways to spend the time are possible.
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I suppose, making the best of things is all we really have left to do. [His stubborn side disagreed. 'Making the best of things' sounded a lot like giving in and doing what they were told.
There were easier things to think about though.] Specialized desires? [He chuckled quietly.] And do you have any of those?
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Before she can say anything, he turns the questions back on her. Her first instinct is to sputter a little and turn red.]
No. [She looks away, wondering for all the world if the ground could swallow her whole.]
I meant... That is... Other people, I mean. [Her own preferences and leanings were not nearly as scandalous as some but this reaction isn't helping her case.]
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They all had quirks, whether they indulged them or not.
He clears his throat and shifts the basket of goodies to his other hand.] Anyway, now that I know this was actually intended for me, thank you... I probably shouldn't take up more of your time, but it's a pleasure to meet you, Joesphine. [He gives her another half bow, a slight incline of his head.]
Package Christmas Day
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the note reads: for the joy of the new year. sincerely, thranduil. ]
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